I know Thanksgiving was yesterday, but I spent most of the day with my family and friends in some capacity. And as Cicero says, Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. I’m allowed to be thankful each day, including Black Friday, a pseudoholiday wrought with irony. This isn’t a challenge to any cosmic entities, but this year has been relatively quiet compared to past years – this has probably been the longest “break” experienced without tragedy since 2008. In 2008, my little brother had a cardiac aneurysm and died in my parents’ arms. I was 20, and he was 15…it was a difficult thing for my family to even attempt to come to terms with. From that point on, my struggles with anxiety and academia were exacerbated to the point of being unable to complete my coursework until help was sought. In October 2010, my 19 year old cousin was hit by a car on her college campus and died. This was a difficult thing for everyone, especially my parents, so soon after already having lost one person so young and close to us. A month and a half later, we watched our house burned down the day after Thanksgiving. Someone had stayed up all night playing games and saw the spark from the outlet…otherwise my brother, dad, and I wouldn’t be here today. A year later, one of my close friends died in a car accident, and the year after that I had a nervous breakdown. In 2013 we lost my grandfather, the only one who was alive while I was old enough to get to know him. 

Every time I get caught up in a difficult situation, I try to put it in perspective. I don’t participate in the “others have it worse” mentality, because that will always be trivially true. No one’s struggles should be minimized and marginalized because of an obscure and biased ranking system. I think about my own experiences with respect to my own past. I am grateful to be able to do this and be able to be empathetic to others. I am thankful my parents and brother are doing well and that I have a friendship structure that has withstood the test of time. I hope that my romantic life pans out and instead of trying to adhere to some sort of weird societal standards, I can keep the person I’ve come to fit with like a puzzle-piece. I think being more secure in myself and being willing to speak another’s love language will help. Right now we’re both so busy, so I hope after the next couple of weeks are over I don’t lose someone I really care about.

But if you just came here for a bulleted list of things I’m thankful for: 

• My family and I are getting along better than we have in years
• My friends are amazing and supportive and everything I dreamed of having when I was younger
• Z having a smile that makes me smile
• Kitty cats :3 because kitty cats
• My job pays bills
• My car still runs
• I live in a nice and secure apartment
• My hair is back to my natural color (light brown vs. black)